same-face syndrome

i try to let out my voice 
i try to be assertive 
i try to come across as dominant, even 
 
driving my econobox down ponce,  
i realize there are light years 
between myself and who i want to be 
 
the universe has bound my personality 
to a square, but I remember a past life 
where roundness prevailed 

echo, echo

pounding fills my head 
at the thought of you. 
a voice whispers to run 
with nowhere to flee to.
 
i love now, with you, 
but my fear of the future 
is almost deafening. 
could you please turn it down? 
 
the static fills my vision, 
but for you, dear... 
i would go deaf and blind.
 
so i run into your arms.

blank canvas

beauty grates on my eyes,
and music on my ears.
i live in the grey, 
listlessness the strongest mood, 
until i found some 
rose tinted glasses
resting on your nose.
 
no, life is no michelangelo,
no picasso,
no rembrandt, 
but sharing these glasses with you... 
oh, you, you, you.
 
i feel alive on this crutch,
but one day I must heal
and walk alone again.

so stupid

each slash and every swing
drains me of vitality
my blade, a mere extension
of my arm
through the dark, i battle
in hopes of something different
and at last, i am drained
i morph, in the arms of my lover
to her worst nightmare
i am my shortcomings,
nothing more, nothing less
and yet, the sword remains

last frost

i sit, perched, on the castle roof
admiring the birds flying by
oh, to swoop through the air
and to be free from the earth
i took the path less traveled by
and yet, i don\'t think
it made any difference
i have made it to the heights
albeit battered and bruised
do the scars lend character?
or is that only what one says
to a child victim?

the cruelest

brassy voices make
percussion makes me
why you?
unto whence we came
and rising from the ashes
no point to the thorns
cumulus pillows cushion
turf blankets itch
why care?
the wiggles of the world
fleeting fleeting gone
but even so, we love

state of being

system status check failure: 
folds of the brain filled with static smoke,
my gears squeaking, in need of oil.
carelessly lost the remote.
 
a spark nibbling at kindling,
a blaze devouring forest,
a smoke that clouds my thought
and melts me away into mist.
 
gravity worked over eons
to pull together the sun,
and so it shall assemble 
my scattered shards.
 
-m.m. 

sour grapes

home is in your arms
running my fingers through
your curly hair
that\'s too damn pretty
and falling asleep to the sunrise

or at least it used to be
until i left my heart
in the backseat of your car
now i\'m having panic attacks
on public bathroom floors

the sun won\'t shine
where the ground is bloody
so it sure won\'t shine on me
i\'ve been trying to get my heart
back inside where it belongs

you were my home
a privilege you callously rejected

-m.m.

lovers of a sort

out of the mist,
into the end,
waking up in a
sweat-dampened bed.
i will not fall back asleep again.
they play their demented game
of tag in that
twilit school,
what used to be home to me.

they raucously call,
guffawing,
voices echoing with footsteps
against cold, unpolished tile.
this is the end.
like prey, i am caught.

it matters not which one it is
of those boys i treasure,
or did once
in my waking hours,
the result will always be the same.
detestable.
gruesome.
agonizing.

my body is used as a toy
for animals who stole their faces
but once you see a person
in such a context, with such fear
you can never
see them the same.

-m.m.